‘Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know.’
– Anon –
Following on from Part 1 of this four part blog series, here is Part 2 for you.
. . . I literally had no money in my account for months and months and months. Any money that Darren helped me out with went straight out to pay for training courses I had already committed to, paid for my phone bill, or contributed to ferry tickets so I could go into the city and meet with prospective clients.
This was the most dire financial situation I had been in throughout my entire life. However, I know, for certain that it happened for a reason. In fact, it had to happen. Because I needed to learn the things that I needed to learn, by going through what I went through. And no matter how rubbish it felt throughout that 7 month period, I have come out of it the other side, an even better person than I was before. I also know that I wouldn’t have the perspective I have now looking back on it.
So, you may ask, what have I learnt? And this for me is the most important thing. Life sometimes throws us curveballs. Sometimes it gives us something to deal with that, in the moment, we feel as though we just aren’t equipped to handle. But, sometimes what we don’t realise is, that the Universe only ever gives us exactly what we need, in the exact moment that we need it. And it never gives us anything greater than that which we are equipped to deal with.
So, what have I learnt?
I’ve learnt to receive help from people who love me, much more easily and willingly – I know that before this year I would feel very guilty receiving help from people. I didn’t want to feel vulnerable or weak. I didn’t want to be a burden. I didn’t want to put people out. I didn’t want to admit that I needed help from someone. It was always much easier to just deal with things by myself. And so far this year, I have definitely allowed people to help me a lot more than I ever had.
It has been in these moments of allowing myself to be vulnerable, that I have allowed someone in, who loves me, to help me. And by doing so, I have softened my heart and started to remove some of the armour I had subconsciously built up around it. The armour that existed, because I didn’t want people to think that I was weak.
I’ve also learnt to have a better relationship with money – my relationship with money had never been perfect. Before I started my business, throughout my 20s, I had earned a lot of money working in the Corporate World in Branding and Marketing. In fact, since starting working for Virgin in 2003, I can’t really remember there ever being a time where I struggled for cash. I was always earning. There was always money in my bank account. I never had to worry about whether I could afford to do something or go somewhere, I just did. I had a Carpe Diem approach to life and a Carpe Diem approach to money. However, I never saved. I never had anything in reserve. It was only when I was with my ex-boyfriend that I saved, and that was only for one year. It was an important year though, because the $7000 that I saved while we were together, contributed to the other money that I saved not long after my 30th birthday, which paid for my Round the World Trip, which ended up bringing me to Australia . . . . .
Part 3 will follow tomorrow . . . .
Sending you love, hugs and light,
Kat x x x