Give yourself permission (Part 2)

dream-and-give-yourself-permission-to-envision-a-you-that-you-choose-to-be-joy-quote-

“Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another.”
– Madonna Ciccone –

Following on from yesterday’s Part 1 . . .

. . . All of the things that I loved to do as a child, I was bringing back into my life now, and it made me feel happy . . .

One of the things I started to do was paint t-shirt and bag designs, and it was only when I started to share them with people did they start to tell me how much they liked them and that I should do something with them. The problem was I had no confidence in my creativity, and I couldn’t actually believe that anyone would think that something I had painted was any good.

My boyfriend kept asking me when I was going to sell them. Every time I told him, that I wasn’t ready and that I wasn’t really sure whether they were any good. I had been told over and over again, that I wasn’t that creative and that I should study ‘academic’ subjects, so that was all I knew. What gave me the right to start a company designing t-shirts and tote bags?

The thing was, I loved painting and designing them. It got to the point where the designs were flying out of me. I had painted tonnes and tonnes of them and I had come up with hundreds of designs that were just flowing out of me effortlessly and easily. The problem? I didn’t think I was good enough.

My boyfriend (Darren) offered to put money into the business to start it, I refused. My boyfriend continuously asked me, when are you going to do something with Katkin (which was the name I gave to the project)? To which I answered, I don’t know. It got to the point where it had been nearly a year since I had painted my first design and still nothing much had happened.

I just didn’t have the confidence. I just didn’t see myself as someone creative enough to start a clothing company using my own designs.

But Darren never gave up, he kept asking me and asking me. “Come on Kat, when are you going to do this? What needs to happen next?”

Bit, by, bit I inched closer. I took a shortlist of about 8 designs and asked friends to vote via Facebook on their top 4. Then once they were selected, we took some photos of the t-shirts and us in them. Then I plucked up the courage to make a video. And we finally put together a crowd funding campaign to start the business, because the only thing holding us back was capital.

KatkinteesandtotesKatandDarren

And so, here we are a month or so later and we have raised nearly $2000 so we can get our first run of tees and totes, set up a website and start selling our beautiful designs.

KatkinTeeandToteDesigns

It’s not been easy. In fact, it’s been really, really hard for me. I’m sure people on the outside think that I just woke up one day with a cool idea, painted some designs, threw them on a website and then invited people to contribute, but it has taken so much more than that. . . . .

To find out what else it has taken, tune in tomorrow for the third and last part of this 3 part blog series.

Sending you lots of love, hugs and light,

Kat x x x

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