Long time, no write

‘Take a step back, evaluate what is important, and enjoy life’

– Terri Garr –

It’s been a while my lovelies. I’m so sorry. There have been a lot of shifts and changes that have been happening in my life over the last few months and I haven’t felt in the right space to share them.

Just to bring you up to speed, I’ll give you a quick list, so you know what has been going on in my world:

• I’ve moved back to Manly
• I’ve broken up with my boyfriend Darren
• Despite breaking up, Darren and I have decided to start a business together (Katkin)
• We’ve put in and received the first order of t-shirts and totes for Katkin
• My beautiful sister has fallen pregnant
• I have started to heal my eyes naturally using Ortho-K lenses
• I’ve acquired some beautiful new clients through Thought Cloud
• I’ve been invited to collaborate with Soul Sessions at a new event they are launching called Think, Feel and Grow Rich
• I’ve started a Shamanic Journey course
• I’ve learnt what two of my totem animals are
• I’ve done two Full Moon Sound Healing sessions with the amazing Mr Matt Omo
• I’ve saved $4,200 and am successfully following T Harv Eker’s financial pot principles that I mentioned in a previous blog post
• I’ve started listening to the epicly awesome Mood Booster playlist on Spotify
• And have completely and utterly fallen in love with Coldplay’s new song Magic from their upcoming album, Ghost Stories, which will be out on 19 May (very exciting!!)

 

And the bottom line as to why I haven’t written my blog for what seems like ever, is because Darren subscribes to this blog (although I’m not entirely sure whether he ever reads it, maybe I’ll find out once I have written this!), but because of everything that has been going on between us over the last 3 months, I haven’t wanted to write my blog. And the main reason is that when I write, I write the truth, and if I had written my blog, I would have worried about him reading how I was truly feeling and what was going on for me, so I thought it better to not write at all, rather than writing, but not sharing the whole truth (considering my blog is about inspiring people to live a life of truth, peace and love).

So, with that out of the way, I’m glad to be back. Every now and then I take time away from my blog and it actually feels good. But I do miss writing and I miss the consistency of sharing, so I’m going to do my very best to write more frequently.

I have also recently been getting some very positive and complimentary feedback from people about my blog and the content of what I share and how inspiring it is. So I feel as though it is very important for me to be continuing to write and share what’s happening in my life and what I’m learning as I go. Because even if I help or inspire one other person, it’s worth writing.

So, once again, so sorry for being away for so long. Thank you for your patience and thank you for still being there to read this.

I love you, I hope all is well in your world and I look forward to sharing more with you.

Feel free to share any updates in your beautiful world, thoughts and feelings in the comments box below.

Love, hugs and light,

Kat x x x

P.S.

I’m sure I will be sharing more on the list of things I’ve updated you on above as time goes by. There’s a lot to fill you in on . . . . 🙂

Give yourself permission (Part 3)

“Don’t look for society to give you permission to be yourself.”

– Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience –

Following on from yesterday’s Part 2 . . .

. . .  It’s not been easy. In fact, it’s been really, really hard for me. I’m sure people on the outside think that I just woke up one day with a cool idea, painted some designs, threw them on a website and then invited people to contribute, but it has taken so much more than that. . . . .

It has taken me, letting go of the image that most people have of me, ‘academic Kat’, ‘intellectual Kat’, ‘clever Kat’, so that I could allow the more ‘creative Kat’ to come in. The way that I am on this planet to truly express myself. Through writing, or singing or painting or designing. It’s been hard, however, my desire to do that which I love and let go of the ‘notself’ has been incredibly liberating, and I feel as though this is just the beginning.

And so, to conclude. Whatever you feel in your heart to do, do it. Whatever you wanted to do when you were little, and never got to do, do it now. There is no time like the present, and anything is possible.

If you always wanted to be a vet, and you’re 40, there’s still time to study and become a vet. If you always wanted to dance, then dance. If you always wanted to write a book, write a book. If you always wanted to start your own business, f*ck it, start your own business goddammit! If you’ve been running a project on the side of your day job and you’d like to start making money out of it, because that is what you would love to do, then do it! You don’t need permission from anyone other than yourself. Life is too short. And just because your choices were taken away from you by someone else earlier in your life, doesn’t mean to say that you can’t make different ones now. You’re too wonderful and too precious and too gifted.

If you feel in your heart to do something, from a place of love, for yourself, for your life, your happiness then do it. I promise you that you won’t regret it. Carpe-the-mother-funking -Diem!

If you would like to have a Numerology reading and learn what your Life Path and Expression numbers are (among many other things), feel free to drop me a line at kat@thoughtcloudcollective.com and I will talk you through your entire Numerological Chart and let you know what the coming year has in store for you. A 60 minute reading with me is $150 AUD.

And if you would like to buy a Katkin t-shirt or tote bag, feel free to skip over to our crowd funding page on Indiegogo.

Sending you lots of love, hugs and light,

Kat x x x

Read Part 1 of this blog post

Read Part 2 of this blog post

Give yourself permission (Part 2)

“Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another.”
– Madonna Ciccone –

Following on from yesterday’s Part 1 . . .

. . . All of the things that I loved to do as a child, I was bringing back into my life now, and it made me feel happy . . .

One of the things I started to do was paint t-shirt and bag designs, and it was only when I started to share them with people did they start to tell me how much they liked them and that I should do something with them. The problem was I had no confidence in my creativity, and I couldn’t actually believe that anyone would think that something I had painted was any good.

My boyfriend kept asking me when I was going to sell them. Every time I told him, that I wasn’t ready and that I wasn’t really sure whether they were any good. I had been told over and over again, that I wasn’t that creative and that I should study ‘academic’ subjects, so that was all I knew. What gave me the right to start a company designing t-shirts and tote bags?

The thing was, I loved painting and designing them. It got to the point where the designs were flying out of me. I had painted tonnes and tonnes of them and I had come up with hundreds of designs that were just flowing out of me effortlessly and easily. The problem? I didn’t think I was good enough.

My boyfriend (Darren) offered to put money into the business to start it, I refused. My boyfriend continuously asked me, when are you going to do something with Katkin (which was the name I gave to the project)? To which I answered, I don’t know. It got to the point where it had been nearly a year since I had painted my first design and still nothing much had happened.

I just didn’t have the confidence. I just didn’t see myself as someone creative enough to start a clothing company using my own designs.

But Darren never gave up, he kept asking me and asking me. “Come on Kat, when are you going to do this? What needs to happen next?”

Bit, by, bit I inched closer. I took a shortlist of about 8 designs and asked friends to vote via Facebook on their top 4. Then once they were selected, we took some photos of the t-shirts and us in them. Then I plucked up the courage to make a video. And we finally put together a crowd funding campaign to start the business, because the only thing holding us back was capital.

And so, here we are a month or so later and we have raised nearly $2000 so we can get our first run of tees and totes, set up a website and start selling our beautiful designs.

It’s not been easy. In fact, it’s been really, really hard for me. I’m sure people on the outside think that I just woke up one day with a cool idea, painted some designs, threw them on a website and then invited people to contribute, but it has taken so much more than that. . . . .

To find out what else it has taken, tune in tomorrow for the third and last part of this 3 part blog series.

Sending you lots of love, hugs and light,

Kat x x x

Give Yourself Permission (Part 1)

“As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence actually liberates others.”
– Marianne Williamson –

It was about this time last year that Numerology was starting to really interest me.

I had been introduced to it by a client of mine in Dec 2012. And I wrote an entire blog post on this entitled ‘You can find your purpose in life, through numbers‘.

As well as realising that I am a 22/4 life path, it became apparent to me that I am Expression/Destiny 3. And in numerology a 3 represents creativity, optimism and positivity amongst many other things.

In numerology, while your life path is like the plot or theme of your life (if it were a book or a movie or a play), your Expression/Destiny number is the character that you play while you walk your life path. So while the 22/4 represents the Master Builder who (if they are vibrating at the 22 frequency) has the ability to make the seemingly impossible, possible, some one with a 3 Expression would be expressing themselves in a very creative way.

And this time last year, and pretty much the entirety of my adult life, I had not been doing that. Interestingly when I was younger, I was very creative and loved to be creative. I loved to sing, I loved to paint, I loved to write, to take photos, the list is endless. However, when it came to choosing subjects to study at school for my GCSEs and A-Levels I was told that I should take those which were ‘academic’.

Even though in my heart I really wanted to study art and music, theatre and design, I ended up taking French and German and Geography and Sociology and Business. Now, I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy those subjects, nor did I not succeed at them. However, I was sad that I didn’t get to study the creative subjects, just to see where they would have taken me in life . . . .

I have no regrets now, because the things that I have done up until now in my career have got me to where I am today. However, one of the things that my numerologist said to me last February when I had a proper reading was that as a 3 Expression I really needed to be expressing myself in as creative a way as possible in life, because that was my destiny. And by doing so, the Universe would support me.

As a result, I started writing this beautiful blog. I also started writing a book. I started to sing more and I started to paint. All of the things that I loved to do as a child, I was bringing back into my life now, and it made me feel happy . . .

To learn about what happened next, tune in tomorrow for Part 2.

Sending you love, hugs and light,

Kat x x x

Choose to be who you know you are

‘Make a commitment to you, to be yourself.’

– Bashar –

Today, I have been watching a fair amount of Bashar. I was first introduced to him about a year ago, by a beautiful friend of mine, Miss Bridget. When I first encountered some of his videos on You Tube I thought he was odd, very shouty and slightly off of his rocker. Now, 12 months later, I am listening to his words of wisdom with a greater understanding and knowing of the truth that he speaks.

The theme of the videos that I have watched today, has been that of how to manifest and create the life you really want.

The clip that has really hit home, is the one that I will share with you in this blog entitled ‘Burn Those Bridges and Never Look Back.’ In essence, he is talking about how, as we’re being provided with challenges and lessons in life, from which to learn, once we have moved through each one, we are given a choice as to whether we want to repeat the lesson or pattern, or whether we want to move past it.

The analogy that he gives is of a bridge. As we move through the challenge we walk across the bridge to the other side. We then have the choice to keep the bridge there and be able to move back to the previous way of living or lower vibration, or instead, burn the bridge behind us, so we can never return.

The analogies that I tend to use in my life are of Neo choosing to take the red pill in The Matrix, or Alice deciding to follow the White Rabbit in the direction of Wonderland. The moment that you take that decision, in essence, it is very difficult (if not impossible) to return or retrace your steps.

There is a wonderful quote that pops up from time to time in my Facebook feed that reinforces this.

A teacher of mine (Mr Robert Kirby) recently reinforced this during a training of his that I attended. He talked about how, when we have moved through a challenge or interrupted a pattern that might have been holding us back or limiting us in life in some way, we are tested one last time by the Universe. Or to use Bashar’s analogy of the bridge, we are invited to walk back across the bridge to where we once were.

And in that moment we have a choice. We can walk back across the bridge, and repeat the same negative experience or outcome, or we can burn it.

To bring context to this, I’ll use a recent experience for me as an example.

As I mentioned in my 4 post blog mini series ‘Everything will be OK Parts 1, 2, 3 & 4‘ this year has been particularly challenging for me with regards to my finances and my relationship with money.

At the beginning of 2013 I set the intention to improve that area of my life, and what transpired was the fact that I didn’t make any money for 7 months and received financial help and support from my boyfriend for the duration of that time. Very lucky.

My old pattern with money was that I had a ‘break-even consciousness’ as Robert refers to it. In that the money that came into my account, was equal to the money that went out. I didn’t really save and I didn’t have a financial cushion to speak of.

I made a promise to myself, in the midst of me having no money, that as soon as the money started to come back into my account, I would ensure that I managed it much better, saved some of it, gave some of it to good causes and spent less than I earned.

Sure enough, the money started to flow eventually. I also contribute this to the fact that I did 2 months of intensive energy healing work with Robert, which was nothing short of miraculous.

However, as the money started to flow back into my life, I was managing it in a very different way, and allocating it into different pots, some of which involved saving.

So, what is the relevance of this with regards to this blog post? I was given the opportunity to burn a bridge just a week or so ago.

My beautiful friend invited me to come up to Woodford Folk Festival near Brisbane in Australia. From reading about it, the line up looked awesome (Matt Corby and Gotye to name but a few) and it seemed to be almost like a Aussie Glastonbury (one of my favourite festivals and indeed places on the planet). It was going to cost around $500 for a ticket and another $500 for a flight and spending money to get up there. So, not a cheap trip. But it would be SO MUCH FUN! And such a wonderful way to end the year and see in 2014.

However, I was also saving for a deposit and rent up front to move into my own flat in a couple of months time. The money was there in my savings. Old me would have just thrown caution to the wind, spent the money and worried about it later. But new me, having learnt what I have learned this year, decided to make a different decision. A decision that involved not spending beyond my means and also leaving my savings be, rather than acting on a whim.

And this was the Universe testing me. Have I really learnt my lesson? Do I want to burn the bridge? And the answer was yes. Even though it would have been great fun and enjoyable, there will be other festivals I can attend. I am having lots of fun with my staycation in the Northern Beaches and I am indeed playing the long ball, in that it is more important for me to save and be able to move into my own place in a couple of months, than go to a festival on a whim and put my savings back a few months.

So in short, don’t be afraid to burn the bridges. Don’t be afraid to constantly be raising your vibrations. Don’t be afraid to take the red pill and follow the white rabbit.

Don’t be afraid to choose to be who you know you are.

Sending you love and light,

Kat x x x

To listen to more of Bashar’s truth and wisdom, check out these awesome clips

Don’t try and figure it out

How to create the life that you really want

Three levels you need to know about

Time to really love yourself

‘Rather than condemning yourself for your mistakes and failures, you can use the experience of suffering to soften your heart.’

– Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion –

Affirmation of the day – I LOVE AND ACCEPT MYSELF EXACTLY AS I AM.

So, the one and only gift that I decided to buy this year was a book, for myself, entitled, Self-Compassion. It was recommended to me, by a very beautiful friend, considering the slightly tricky time that I have been going through recently. So I decided to take his advice.

The opening quote in the book goes like this:

“This kind of compulsive concern with, ‘I, me, and mine’ isn’t the same as loving ourselves. Loving ourselves points us to capacities of resilience, compassion and understanding within that are simply part of being alive.” – Sharon Salzberg, The Force of Kindness

And I have a feeling that the theme of self-compassion is going to be something that will run through my blog posts over the next couple of weeks as I read the book, share my thoughts, feelings and learnings with you and really start to love myself, truly and deeply.

2013 has been an interesting one. I can’t complain, especially considering that at the beginning of the year I set the intention to improve my relationship with money and get a better handle on my finances.

Little did I know that the Universe had a pretty monumental way of teaching me the things that I needed to learn, coming in the form of me not earning anything from my business for the best part of 7 months, and me needing to allow my beautiful boyfriend to financially support me for the duration of that time.

However, I wouldn’t change a thing, as I feel as though I have learnt an incredible amount with regards to money and my relationship with it, and despite the fact that it will take me a little while to pay off my debt and get myself back on to an even keel, I’m much better off than where I started the year.

So, why the importance of self-compassion? I have definitely heard the voices in my head quite recently wanting to beat myself up for the fact that my business was a financial failure for the predominance of the year. And that same voice has been wanting to kick the sh1t out of me for having to be financially supported by my boyfriend, which has also left him in a less than ideal financial position. The voice that wants to blame me, that wishes I’d never had to ask for help. The voice that tells me that I’m weak and unsuccessful. The voice, that in actual fact, not really telling the truth.

Because the truth of the matter is, everything happens for a reason. And also, I asked for this. I wanted to improve my relationship with money, therefore I needed to be open to whichever way the lessons I needed to learn would show up. This is how the Universe works.

If I’m wanting to live a life of true abundance, I’m not going to be able to manifest things, money, people, businesses, customers, clients, opportunities etc. if I’m not open to receiving them, or if I don’t know what to do with them, once I have them.

So, now is not the time to beat myself up internally or berate myself. Now is the time to be kind and compassionate to myself. To be unconditionally loving and allow whatever feelings and emotions to come up that need to surface. To feel any pain, disappointment or sadness that I need to feel. But then not to be mean to myself because I’m feeling these things. Instead choose to comfort myself, just as I would a friend who would be going through the same thing. In short, to be the best friend that I could possibly be to myself.

In her book Self Compassion, Kristin Neff starts the book by clearly stating how we can be more compassionate to ourselves,

‘To stop judging and evaluating ourselves altogether. To stop trying to label ourselves as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and simply accept ourselves with an open heart. To treat ourselves with the same kindness, caring and compassion we would show a good friend, or even a stranger for that matter. Sadly, however, there’s almost no one whom we treat as badly as ourselves.’

And it is my mission and promise to myself to treat myself with the same level of love, kindness and compassion that I show to all of the beautiful people in my life. And I have a feeling that this will become the theme for 2014 for me. SELF COMPASSION and time to really start loving myself, truly, madly and deeply.

If you’d like to start this too, I can highly recommend writing a love letter to yourself. I did this yesterday, and it was definitely a very lovely experience. I also came across this beautiful video on finerminds.com this morning and it really inspired me and compliments the sentiment of my post today perfectly.

It’s rare that we sit down and write a letter to ourselves outlining all of the things that we love about ourselves, but I feel as though now is as good a time as any. There isn’t really anything to lose.

I’m really looking forward to seeing through the last remaining days of 2013, savouring every last one and preparing myself for an even bigger and better 2014. One filled with unconditional love for myself and others, and a life of effortless flow filled with abundance in all areas, business, relationships, love, health, finances, emotions and spirituality.

Sending you love and light,

Kat x x x

To learn more

Read 88 ways to love yourself from viendamaria.com

Buy Self Compassion – stop beating yourself up and leave insecurity behind by Kristin Neff

Download Self Compassion for your Kindle.

Image gratitude – http://www.viendamaria.com/2012/12/88-ways-love-yourself/#sthash.UwpJMIJX.dpbs

Home is a shelter from storms

“May I become at all times,
Both now and for ever,
A protector for the helpless,
A guide for the lost ones,
A ship for those to cross oceans,
And a bridge to cross rivers,
A sanctuary for those in danger,
A lamp for those in darkness,
A refuge for those who need shelter,
A servant to all in need.”

– Dalai Lama – 

When I woke up this morning, I knew that I would write a blog post today about the importance of shelter. 

Recently I have found myself needing to find a new place to live, and despite my best efforts of looking and searching, not much showed up. In fact, it wasn’t until all of my things were packed into a removal van, did I get a text message from a friend offering me to come and stay in their spare room. How funny the Universe can sometimes be, leaving you hanging, right until the 11th hour. 

So, even though it’s Christmas, and the majority of my possessions are in storage, I am very grateful to have had a place to stay for the last few weeks, and will have for the coming months. This stray Kat has a home for the foreseeable future. Better still, the people that I am living with are all beautiful, kind and incredibly compassionate. 

Plus, it seems as though I’m not the only stray who has been welcomed into the house, but another cat (who we have affectionately named Dave) has started to visit us regularly. In fact, I think he came to see us on 4 separate occasions yesterday. No sign of him today, but perhaps he’s enjoying some Christmas Treats with his own family today. 

I can’t tell you how special it is knowing that I have a loving home to come and live in. A place where I feel welcome, and that I belong. Even though my biological family are on the other side of the world, it is incredibly comforting to feel part of someone else’s, when it isn’t possible to be with them physically. 

And it is for this reason that the new company I am starting next year is supporting a Children’s Shelter in Kathmandu, Nepal called the Katja House Foundation. They exist to give shelter, food and clothing to the street children of Nepal. 

And for every tote bag that we sell through Katkin, we will give shelter to one street child for one night. 

There are over 30,000 street children in Nepal and there are 500 children a year that are added to that list in Kathmandu alone. 

There is a running joke in Australia, that if you’re an expat here at Christmas and you’re not with your family, then you are referred to as an orphan, and that is true for me this year. In fact it will only be the second Christmas out of the 33 years that I’ve been on this planet, that I won’t be spending it with my family. 

However, I’m grateful for the shelter and beautiful home that I have to live in, the lovely family that I am living with and the food, fun and frolics that we will all be enjoying together over the festive period. 

If you would like to buy a tote bag and provide shelter for a street child for one night, skip over to our crowd funding page to purchase one and help us raised $10k by 19 Jan to start our business in 2014. 

Wishing you a Merry Christmas Eve. 🙂

Sending you all love & light from Sydney,

Kat x x x

P.S.

Here is a beautiful song by the British songstress, Birdy called ‘Shelter‘.

I will not let go

“Man is literally split in two: he has an awareness of his own splendid uniqueness in that he sticks out of nature with a towering majesty, and yet he goes back into the ground a few feet in order blindly and dumbly to rot and disappear forever” 
– Ernest Becker –

Just something to think on today.

A beautiful friend of mine shared this video with me via Facebook the other day and I knew it would make it into a blog post shortly afterwards.

It perfectly sums up how I’m feeling about the world today, and I have a feeling that it will resonate with whichever beautiful souls are reading this post today.

To hold on, or to let go. That is the question? Or in fact, screw there being only one answer to the question. Perhaps it’s both.

Sending you love, hugs and light,

Kat x x x

Image gratitude – http://shadowness.com/maria-amore/don–t-let-go

Everything will be OK (Part 3)

‘Keep giving me hope for a better day
Keep giving me love to find a way
Through this heaviness I feel
I just need someone to say, everything’s okay’

– Lenka –

After Parts 1 and 2 to this series, welcome to Part 3.

. . . . So, even though I was always earning, generally, whatever I earned, I spent. So I had a break even approach. And this approach fell down for me this year, because I didn’t earn, and therefore I had nothing to spend. A perfect way (although it didn’t seem so at the time) to learn that I needed to find a better way of managing money.

And during these last 7 months I read a fantastic book that has changed my life. Secrets of the Millionnaire Mind – Think Rich to Get Rich by T.Harv Eker is a book about money with a  whole bunch of awesome spiritual messages and philosophies trojan horsed into it. And despite its title, it’s a book as much about how to get your mindset in the right place in order to become a millionnaire, as it is about changing what he refers to as you ‘Money Blueprint’, which he believes we are all born with. He helps you to become aware of limiting beliefs that you might have around money and he gives you specific and practical exercises that you can do to start to shift and change them.

However, the MOST helpful piece of advice that he gave in the book that has helped to completely and utterly change my relationship with money is this.

For every amount of money that comes into your bank account, whether it is $10, $100, $1000, $10,000, $100,000 or $1,000,000, split that amount in 6 different ways.

50% goes into a necessities pot – this is for all the essential things in your life like rent, bills, food etc.

10% goes into a fun pot – this is for doing (funnily enough) fun things in life, anything from going to a gig, out to dinner with a friend or rock climbing

10% goes into an education pot – this is for furthering your personal education and development. It could contribute to training courses you’d like to do or books you’d like to read.

10% goes into a long term savings pot – this is pretty straightforward.

10% goes into a financial freedom pot – this pot is for investing. Ultimately, the investments that you make with this money will mean that your money is working for you, rather than you working for your money. Some good sound investments here could significantly change things in your life for the better.

10% goes into a giving pot – the idea of tithing has been around for a long time, and put simply, it is the act of giving 10% of what you earn to a good cause.

I started doing this in July when I read the book. You can do it with as little as $10, but it has completely and utterly changed how I am interacting with and dealing with money. I even went to the extent of setting up separate savings accounts with my bank, so that I could separate my money into each of the pots.

To read the last instalment of this 4 part blog post series, tune in tomorrow.

Here’s a beautiful song called ‘Everything’s OK‘ to make you feel good today by the lovely Lenka.

Sending you love, hugs and light,

Kat x x x

Learn more

Read Everything will be OK – Part 1

Read Everything will be OK – Part 2

Buy the book Secrets of the Millionnaire Mind – T. Harv Eker

Download the book from Apple iBooks or for your Kindle.

Everything will be OK (Part 1)

‘She stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails.’

– Elizabeth Edwards –

It’s 9am on a Sunday morning and I have just written a blog post that is nearly 2000 words long. Therefore, rather than doing what I would probably usually have done and post the entire thing, I’m going to separate it into 4 parts and drip feed it out to you over the next 4 days in bite sized chunks, so that you aren’t overwhelmed with a big ‘ol 2000 word blog post from me. Enjoy.

So, where are we, Sunday 24th November 2013? Wow, already I’m starting to get reflective about the year I’ve had and it’s not even December yet!

This year has definitely been an interesting one, and in particular the last 8 months since March.

In that time I managed to move into a beautiful 2 bedroom flat, 2 minutes from the beach in Manly, have my wonderful Dad come and visit me and take a trip to the Australian GP in Melbourne. Shortly after that, in April, my darling boyfriend moved in with me and this was also around the time that I stopped making money through my business.

The bank balance for my business then proceeded to become dryer and more arid than the Atacama Desert. For months I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t making money? Was my pricing wrong? Was it because I didn’t have a website? Was it because I had repositioned my company as a Conscious Branding company? Was it because no one wanted to work with me? The list of questions go on and on . . . .

During this time, I had to allow Darren to reach out and support me financially, and this is a position I had never been in, in my life. I had never had to allow someone else to do this. I had never had to allow myself to be so vulnerable. . . . .

And he supported me for 7 months.

This was a testing time for me. To begin with, I felt guilty allowing him to help and support me. After a while, I was OK with it. Then I got scared that because I had allowed him to help me, I would never be able to earn money again, and that I would be forever financially dependent on him. And during that time, I didn’t matter how hard I tried, or what I did, I couldn’t make money. I even started applying for other contract roles and even permanent jobs, considering completely and utterly giving up on the company I had set up to do what I love, thinking that perhaps it wasn’t meant to be . . . .

Part 2 will follow tomorrow . . .

Sending you love, hugs and light,

Kat x x x

Image gratitude – http://www.picstopin.com/480/everything-will-be-okay-in-the-end-if-its-not-then-/http:%7C%7Cimg*youtube*com%7Cvi%7C8ltX3Cm4nZw%7C0*jpg/