“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.”
– John Lennon –
So it’s been quite a while since I wrote my last blog post. Over 4 months in fact. The last post being 30 March earlier this year. Quite a long hiatus. As I have mentioned before, I only ever write my blog when I feel to. Sometimes I have months and months where I will write a post every day, sometimes more than 1, other times I don’t feel to write a post for months and months, hence the break.
I think its so important to only share a post when you have something worth sharing. In fact more importantly, something you feel to share.
I have had a pretty interesting last few months and there are so many things I have learnt, however, for some reason, I haven’t felt to share them through my blog for some reason.
However, I was just in a Transcendental Meditation and something came to me that I really wanted to share with you. The importance of loving oneself.
I have just come back from a long overdue trip back home to the Motherland of England. I hadn’t been home for nearly 2 and a half years, and it was very much needed. I was there for nearly a month and it was an incredibly wonderful, fun, exciting, happy, special and healing trip.
While I was there I spent some time with a friend who shared some news with me about a family member of theirs who passed quite suddenly some years ago. I of course felt incredible compassion for them while they were telling me this story, especially because of how close they were to this family member, and how dearly they loved them. They also told me of the feelings that they went through as a result of losing such a loved one, and the things they have learnt about that loss since.
Interestingly, after they had shared this news with me, it brought up a memory of my gran from when she was still alive.
My gran suffered from senile dementia for quite a while, years and years in fact and towards the end of her life, she spent her remaining days, weeks, months and years in a home. I lose track of time, but at some point she got pneumonia and was hospitalised. I can remember going to visit her in hospital and it was at this point in her journey that she started to lose the power of speech.
I remember it being very strange talking to her, and her not being able to really respond. If I said something to her, she would just make a sort of monotone sound for what seemed like a while, which would culminate in her uttering two words. Always. It didn’t matter what I said, or what I asked, there were only two words that she could utter. And it was these two words, that would be the last two words that I would ever hear her say.
At the time, I was touched by how simple a sentiment it was. My heart was warmed by the fact that all she wanted to say to us was ‘Love you’, assuming that the I was missing. And it was only when I was recounting this story to my beautiful friend just a few weeks ago, did I realise the profundity of the fact that these were the final two words left in her vocabulary, because really, these are the only two words we really need. In fact, even if we were to reduce it to one, the only word we really ever need is love.
As I was telling him this story, he was reduced to tears and it was in this moment that I was reminded of what a beautiful, kind, loving, heart-centered soul my gran was. So gentle, so sweet, so lovely. And even though, at the time, I was so very sad that she was losing her power of speech, when I reflect back on that time, everything about that moment was absolutely perfect.
And even as I reflect back now, on telling my friend this story, I can go one level deeper with my understanding of the importance of these final two words that she had for me. At the time, I thought she was expressing her love for me, which is probably how most of us, most of the time would interpret the sentiment ‘love you’. What I now realise is that she was giving me the most important piece of advice that anyone could ever give me. Love you. Love me.
And that is the sentiment of my blog post today. We must love ourselves before we can give love to anyone else or attract it for that matter. We must find love inside, before looking for it elsewhere. In fact, it is in the very act of giving love to ourselves that we will find it in others and see it reflected most beautifully back at us through them.
Every year, I set an intention. Last year my intention was to improve my relationship with money, and boy did I learn that one. This year, my intention has been to understand and experience unconditional love. Unconditionally love for myself and in achieving this, by definition, being able to give unconditional love to others, as we are all one. I have been on a quest to absorb, learn and envelop all knowledge, wisdom and advice on love, living from the heart etc. I’ve read book after book, done heart opening meditation after heart opening meditation, practised yoga religiously, done numerous kundalini yoga classes and all sorts of healing work to bring me out of my head and down into my heart, the list goes on . . . but essentially, the key to experiencing unconditional love it seems, is very simple. And that is to love yourself, unconditionally. To Love You.
So, my question for you today is, how are you going with loving you? How loving are you with your thoughts about yourself? How loving are you with your words to yourself? And how loving are you to others, because, after all, we’re all one. They are you, you are they. And if the answer to any of these questions is ‘not very’ how can you be kinder, sweeter, nicer, and lovelier with the words that you think and say to yourself and to others? How can you Love You more?
Sending you lots of love, hugs and light x x x