Soul Friends

‘Soul friends help you grow, and they invite you to grow with them’

– Lissa Rankin –

I came across this most wonderful piece of wisdom today that was shared by a friend on Facebook by the beautiful Lissa Rankin. There is a TED talk of hers that I want to share with you, but that can wait for another blog post, maybe tomorrow.

Of late, as some of you may have read there have been a few bumps in my life. The interesting thing is that life is giving me the opportunity to stay present, be observant and as objective as possible about the stories and not get sucked in or become a victim to the power of the ego and the drama it can create in our lives.

I have some very beautiful soul friends in my life who have been able to listen to these stories, not embellish them or give energy to them, still love me unconditionally, hold a space for me and be able to give me a sense and reality check and remind me that they are, at the end of the day, just stories.

So I wanted to share Lissa’s Wisdom with you as she perfectly encapsulates the importance of having Soul Friends, and to all of my beautiful Soul Friends out there (you know who you are). I love you very much.

‘I used to think that friends were the people who unconditionally comforted you when you felt wronged, showed up for you when you needed them, and joined you in righteous indignation when you felt hurt. I thought friends would be unconditional cheerleaders, and you would always feel better after being with a friend. But lately, I’ve realized that my most valuable friends are the ones you stand for my soul, even when that means saying something my ego doesn’t want to hear.

When a friend stands for your soul, she holds you accountable to your highest potential and expects you to do the same for her. When a friend stands for your soul, he understands how your ego operates- and loves and accepts you in spite of- even because of- what he knows. But he doesn’t sit by complacently when he watches you create your own suffering. He calls you on it lovingly and pushes you in the direction of your highest self.

When a friend stands for your soul, she’s holds you and comforts you when you feel wronged, but she doesn’t engage in story fondling with you. As soon as you feel strong enough, she reminds you that it’s time to end your pity party and be in the solution. She even helps you find meaning in whatever left you feeling hurt or angry because she knows even tragedies aren’t random, that life is purposeful, even when it’s hard.

When a friend stands for your soul, he’s willing to say what others won’t, the things people might be whispering behind your back because they don’t love you enough to say it to your face. But he never intends to be critical, and he’s never, ever mean. He is wind beneath your wings, helping to lift you higher, and he trusts that you will give him the same gift.

When a friends stands for your soul, she might even leave the relationship, because she has been patient as she watches you choose your small self over your larger self- again and again. At some point, she can’t be true to her own soul unless you share the same commitment to trying to live in alignment with yours. Standing for your soul might require tough love. But the invitation is always there. She will be steadfast in standing for your soul, even as you stray off your path. She will still be there for you when you’re finally ready to accept the invitation to come home to Who You Really Are.

Standing for the soul of a friend isn’t easy. It requires uncomfortable conversations. It would be easier to just say yes to your friend’s ego. But when a friend unconditionally loves you and stands for your soul, it takes courage. It can be disruptive. There might be tears and hurt feelings. But a friend stands for your soul with great love and gentleness, even as she says what you don’t want to hear. Real friends don’t judge. They elevate you while they illuminate the parts of you that you hoped they’d never discover.

It’s all worth it though, because these soul friends help you grow, and they invite you to grow with them. They are your guiding lights during dark nights of the soul, taking you by the hand and returning you to yourself. They cheer with you when you make difficult choices while standing for your own soul. These relationships are dynamic, ever-changing, ever-upleveling, ever-celebrating the magnificence of who you are becoming on your spiritual path. These friends are the guideposts leading you to freedom, and they enjoy the journey with you. They laugh with you, dance with you, gaze at the heavens with you, and revel in sunsets with you. They get quiet with you. They listen to your vulnerable stories and tell you theirs. They keep the heart open with you, and in the communion of two open hearts, you find connection, belonging, vitality, and joy. If you’re lucky, they even bring chocolate.

Do you have friends brave enough to stand for your soul? Do you stand for the souls of your friends?’

Sending you love, hugs & light,

Kat x x x

To learn more about Lissa Rankin, visit her website

Embrace the light and the dark

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”

– Brené Brown –

I’ve not written my blog for over a month now, and up until yesterday I didn’t know why.

I’m currently doing the most fantastic training course with a beautiful healer and personal development trainer called Robert Kirby and we did a process yesterday which required us to look objectively at who we think we are (the dark/shadow) and who we really are (the light).

What I realised is that because I have had some slightly dark times recently, I haven’t wanted to share them with my blog, for fear of exposing myself to be anything less than light. Thinking that I would be being inauthentic.

How wrong, could I have been?

However, in doing so, I have denied the dark, and therefore, actually denied the real truth.

We, as human beings, having a spiritual experience are both. The light and the dark. The ups and the downs. The yin and the yang. The masculine and the feminine. And when we deny one of the other, it is impossible to live a life in balance.

By acknowledging that both are present in us, we allow ourselves to be strong and vulnerable.

The other amazing thing, is that the intuitive horoscope for me (Scorpio) yesterday from the very wonderful Ghazeleh Lowe confirmed this for me too:

Scorpio: The Scorpion

‘You are dedicated today dear Scorpio and you’ll come to see the most divine feeling within you that enables you to awaken and this awakening is one of the most rarest gifts that life can offer. I feel that as your day meets more of your moments you’ll realise that you don’t need your head for the decisions you are about to make in your life. All I can say is that you are about to fly so damn high it’ll be impossible to have you fall ever again.’

I’m starting to have some really incredible realisations and understandings while doing Robert’s work, but the one that has been very strong for me over this 4 day course is just to embrace the light and the dark in ourselves.

I have spent so many wasted hours beating myself up for feeling a certain way, trying to run away from my shadow, wanting to delete it, eradicate it completely. But the truth of the matter is, we are both. And once you embrace both, especially the dark, it no longer has power over you. The important thing is not to dwell though. If you have a dark moment or a dark thought, better still to observe it, knowledge it, know that it is there, then embrace it and allow it to move through you.

I came across this wonderful video by Mr John Legend that fits this post perfectly today. Thank you Universe for bringing it to me. 🙂

Sending you love, light and hugs,

Kat x x x

P.S.

My blog is back, I’ll be writing daily blog posts regularly from now on. Light and dark. The whole truth and nothing but the truth. 🙂

Don’t get sucked into the drama

“Positive things happen to positive people”

– Sarah Beeny –

It’s interesting how drama get’s created in our lives. Sometimes we create it ourselves, and  other times, it comes through another person’s drama, or an event.

It is important to realise, that this drama is not real. It is in fact an illusion that our ego has created. And when you become conscious of the drama, and rather than being sucked into it, you observe it and step away from it, the drama then magically disappears. It is only when you acknowledge the drama and engage with it, that you give energy to it and permission for it to prolong.

So, if you are someone who regularly experiences a lot of drama in your life, the news is, you’re creating it. And just as easily as you create it, you can make it disappear too.

Here are 6 simple steps to ensure that you don’t get sucked into the drama in your life

1. Whenever a dramatic event occurs, before engaging in it, become conscious of it.

2. Then acknowledge that you have created the drama, even if it is an event that is seemingly not related to you (for example it could be something you have read about on Facebook, or a friend who has called you about an event that has happened).

3. Understand that you have a choice as to whether to get sucked into the drama.

4. Decide not to give energy to it.

5. Choose to give energy to something more positive in your life instead and know that the drama will dissipate, as soon as you focus your energy on something else.

6. Be grateful of the things you have in your life, and focus on the present moment.

A good example is that Darren and I were in a small car accident recently. Now an older, less conscious version of me (and my ego) would have loved a story like this a few years ago. It would have been a perfect opportunity to play the victim, plaster it all over Facebook, call friends to discuss the drama and gain sympathy.

However, knowing what I know now, as soon as the accident happened, I became very conscious of the fact that I had created the accident in my reality (subconsciously) and that there was an opportunity to get sucked into the drama.

I decided in that moment to stay calm, relaxed and not allow myself to become emotionally involved with the incident. And, after we had got out of the car to check it for damage (which was luckily only slight), we swapped details with the girl driving behind, who had hit us, and carried on with our journey to meet our friends for a pub quiz.

I also gave thanks to the Universe that Darren and I were both unharmed and safe and that the accident wasn’t as bad as it could have been.

As it turns out, a guy swerved out of his lane towards us, which meant that Darren had to swerve out of our lane to avoid being hit and injured, which meant that we were hit from behind by someone who didn’t have enough time to brake. If he hadn’t swerved, there almost definitely would have been injuries and much more serious damage to both cars. As it was, the guy who caused the accident drove away.

Rather than dwelling on the accident, we took it in our stride, were grateful that we were both OK, enjoyed our evening with our friends at the quiz and then the next day Darren took steps to make an insurance claim and for his car to be fixed.

Of course it was an unfortunate event, of course it is a shame that cars were damaged and yes there was a potential for us to get sucked into the drama of the incident and be emotional about the fact that the guy caused the accident and drove off. However we decided to stay neutral to the situation, and because we did that we didn’t allow the situation to have a negative effect on our evening or our lives.

So, the next time a drama comes up in your life, you have the choice to become conscious of it, accept that you have created it as part of your reality and understand that you have the power to make that drama disappear as quickly as you created it.

Sending you lots of love, hugs and light,

Kat x x x

Inspiration for this blog post

My own life experience