Give yourself permission (Part 2)

“Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another.”
– Madonna Ciccone –

Following on from yesterday’s Part 1 . . .

. . . All of the things that I loved to do as a child, I was bringing back into my life now, and it made me feel happy . . .

One of the things I started to do was paint t-shirt and bag designs, and it was only when I started to share them with people did they start to tell me how much they liked them and that I should do something with them. The problem was I had no confidence in my creativity, and I couldn’t actually believe that anyone would think that something I had painted was any good.

My boyfriend kept asking me when I was going to sell them. Every time I told him, that I wasn’t ready and that I wasn’t really sure whether they were any good. I had been told over and over again, that I wasn’t that creative and that I should study ‘academic’ subjects, so that was all I knew. What gave me the right to start a company designing t-shirts and tote bags?

The thing was, I loved painting and designing them. It got to the point where the designs were flying out of me. I had painted tonnes and tonnes of them and I had come up with hundreds of designs that were just flowing out of me effortlessly and easily. The problem? I didn’t think I was good enough.

My boyfriend (Darren) offered to put money into the business to start it, I refused. My boyfriend continuously asked me, when are you going to do something with Katkin (which was the name I gave to the project)? To which I answered, I don’t know. It got to the point where it had been nearly a year since I had painted my first design and still nothing much had happened.

I just didn’t have the confidence. I just didn’t see myself as someone creative enough to start a clothing company using my own designs.

But Darren never gave up, he kept asking me and asking me. “Come on Kat, when are you going to do this? What needs to happen next?”

Bit, by, bit I inched closer. I took a shortlist of about 8 designs and asked friends to vote via Facebook on their top 4. Then once they were selected, we took some photos of the t-shirts and us in them. Then I plucked up the courage to make a video. And we finally put together a crowd funding campaign to start the business, because the only thing holding us back was capital.

And so, here we are a month or so later and we have raised nearly $2000 so we can get our first run of tees and totes, set up a website and start selling our beautiful designs.

It’s not been easy. In fact, it’s been really, really hard for me. I’m sure people on the outside think that I just woke up one day with a cool idea, painted some designs, threw them on a website and then invited people to contribute, but it has taken so much more than that. . . . .

To find out what else it has taken, tune in tomorrow for the third and last part of this 3 part blog series.

Sending you lots of love, hugs and light,

Kat x x x

Give Yourself Permission (Part 1)

“As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence actually liberates others.”
– Marianne Williamson –

It was about this time last year that Numerology was starting to really interest me.

I had been introduced to it by a client of mine in Dec 2012. And I wrote an entire blog post on this entitled ‘You can find your purpose in life, through numbers‘.

As well as realising that I am a 22/4 life path, it became apparent to me that I am Expression/Destiny 3. And in numerology a 3 represents creativity, optimism and positivity amongst many other things.

In numerology, while your life path is like the plot or theme of your life (if it were a book or a movie or a play), your Expression/Destiny number is the character that you play while you walk your life path. So while the 22/4 represents the Master Builder who (if they are vibrating at the 22 frequency) has the ability to make the seemingly impossible, possible, some one with a 3 Expression would be expressing themselves in a very creative way.

And this time last year, and pretty much the entirety of my adult life, I had not been doing that. Interestingly when I was younger, I was very creative and loved to be creative. I loved to sing, I loved to paint, I loved to write, to take photos, the list is endless. However, when it came to choosing subjects to study at school for my GCSEs and A-Levels I was told that I should take those which were ‘academic’.

Even though in my heart I really wanted to study art and music, theatre and design, I ended up taking French and German and Geography and Sociology and Business. Now, I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy those subjects, nor did I not succeed at them. However, I was sad that I didn’t get to study the creative subjects, just to see where they would have taken me in life . . . .

I have no regrets now, because the things that I have done up until now in my career have got me to where I am today. However, one of the things that my numerologist said to me last February when I had a proper reading was that as a 3 Expression I really needed to be expressing myself in as creative a way as possible in life, because that was my destiny. And by doing so, the Universe would support me.

As a result, I started writing this beautiful blog. I also started writing a book. I started to sing more and I started to paint. All of the things that I loved to do as a child, I was bringing back into my life now, and it made me feel happy . . .

To learn about what happened next, tune in tomorrow for Part 2.

Sending you love, hugs and light,

Kat x x x