‘Soul friends help you grow, and they invite you to grow with them’
– Lissa Rankin –
I came across this most wonderful piece of wisdom today that was shared by a friend on Facebook by the beautiful Lissa Rankin. There is a TED talk of hers that I want to share with you, but that can wait for another blog post, maybe tomorrow.
Of late, as some of you may have read there have been a few bumps in my life. The interesting thing is that life is giving me the opportunity to stay present, be observant and as objective as possible about the stories and not get sucked in or become a victim to the power of the ego and the drama it can create in our lives.
I have some very beautiful soul friends in my life who have been able to listen to these stories, not embellish them or give energy to them, still love me unconditionally, hold a space for me and be able to give me a sense and reality check and remind me that they are, at the end of the day, just stories.
So I wanted to share Lissa’s Wisdom with you as she perfectly encapsulates the importance of having Soul Friends, and to all of my beautiful Soul Friends out there (you know who you are). I love you very much.
‘I used to think that friends were the people who unconditionally comforted you when you felt wronged, showed up for you when you needed them, and joined you in righteous indignation when you felt hurt. I thought friends would be unconditional cheerleaders, and you would always feel better after being with a friend. But lately, I’ve realized that my most valuable friends are the ones you stand for my soul, even when that means saying something my ego doesn’t want to hear.
When a friend stands for your soul, she holds you accountable to your highest potential and expects you to do the same for her. When a friend stands for your soul, he understands how your ego operates- and loves and accepts you in spite of- even because of- what he knows. But he doesn’t sit by complacently when he watches you create your own suffering. He calls you on it lovingly and pushes you in the direction of your highest self.
When a friend stands for your soul, she’s holds you and comforts you when you feel wronged, but she doesn’t engage in story fondling with you. As soon as you feel strong enough, she reminds you that it’s time to end your pity party and be in the solution. She even helps you find meaning in whatever left you feeling hurt or angry because she knows even tragedies aren’t random, that life is purposeful, even when it’s hard.
When a friend stands for your soul, he’s willing to say what others won’t, the things people might be whispering behind your back because they don’t love you enough to say it to your face. But he never intends to be critical, and he’s never, ever mean. He is wind beneath your wings, helping to lift you higher, and he trusts that you will give him the same gift.
When a friends stands for your soul, she might even leave the relationship, because she has been patient as she watches you choose your small self over your larger self- again and again. At some point, she can’t be true to her own soul unless you share the same commitment to trying to live in alignment with yours. Standing for your soul might require tough love. But the invitation is always there. She will be steadfast in standing for your soul, even as you stray off your path. She will still be there for you when you’re finally ready to accept the invitation to come home to Who You Really Are.
Standing for the soul of a friend isn’t easy. It requires uncomfortable conversations. It would be easier to just say yes to your friend’s ego. But when a friend unconditionally loves you and stands for your soul, it takes courage. It can be disruptive. There might be tears and hurt feelings. But a friend stands for your soul with great love and gentleness, even as she says what you don’t want to hear. Real friends don’t judge. They elevate you while they illuminate the parts of you that you hoped they’d never discover.
It’s all worth it though, because these soul friends help you grow, and they invite you to grow with them. They are your guiding lights during dark nights of the soul, taking you by the hand and returning you to yourself. They cheer with you when you make difficult choices while standing for your own soul. These relationships are dynamic, ever-changing, ever-upleveling, ever-celebrating the magnificence of who you are becoming on your spiritual path. These friends are the guideposts leading you to freedom, and they enjoy the journey with you. They laugh with you, dance with you, gaze at the heavens with you, and revel in sunsets with you. They get quiet with you. They listen to your vulnerable stories and tell you theirs. They keep the heart open with you, and in the communion of two open hearts, you find connection, belonging, vitality, and joy. If you’re lucky, they even bring chocolate.
Do you have friends brave enough to stand for your soul? Do you stand for the souls of your friends?’
Sending you love, hugs & light,
Kat x x x
To learn more about Lissa Rankin, visit her website