Everything will be OK (Part 2)

‘Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know.’

– Anon –

Following on from Part 1 of this four part blog series, here is Part 2 for you.

. . . I literally had no money in my account for months and months and months. Any money that Darren helped me out with went straight out to pay for training courses I had already committed to, paid for my phone bill, or contributed to ferry tickets so I could go into the city and meet with prospective clients.

This was the most dire financial situation I had been in throughout my entire life. However, I know, for certain that it happened for a reason. In fact, it had to happen. Because I needed to learn the things that I needed to learn, by going through what I went through. And no matter how rubbish it felt throughout that 7 month period, I have come out of it the other side, an even better person than I was before. I also know that I wouldn’t have the perspective I have now looking back on it.

So, you may ask, what have I learnt? And this for me is the most important thing. Life sometimes throws us curveballs. Sometimes it gives us something to deal with that, in the moment, we feel as though we just aren’t equipped to handle. But, sometimes what we don’t realise is, that the Universe only ever gives us exactly what we need, in the exact moment that we need it. And it never gives us anything greater than that which we are equipped to deal with.

So, what have I learnt?

I’ve learnt to receive help from people who love me, much more easily and willingly – I know that before this year I would feel very guilty receiving help from people. I didn’t want to feel vulnerable or weak. I didn’t want to be a burden. I didn’t want to put people out. I didn’t want to admit that I needed help from someone. It was always much easier to just deal with things by myself. And so far this year, I have definitely allowed people to help me a lot more than I ever had.

It has been in these moments of allowing myself to be vulnerable, that I have allowed someone in, who loves me, to help me. And by doing so, I have softened my heart and started to remove some of the armour I had subconsciously built up around it. The armour that existed, because I didn’t want people to think that I was weak.

I’ve also learnt to have a better relationship with money – my relationship with money had never been perfect. Before I started my business, throughout my 20s, I had earned a lot of money working in the Corporate World in Branding and Marketing. In fact, since starting working for Virgin in 2003, I can’t really remember there ever being a time where I struggled for cash. I was always earning. There was always money in my bank account. I never had to worry about whether I could afford to do something or go somewhere, I just did. I had a Carpe Diem approach to life and a Carpe Diem approach to money. However, I never saved. I never had anything in reserve. It was only when I was with my ex-boyfriend that I saved, and that was only for one year. It was an important year though, because the $7000 that I saved while we were together, contributed to the other money that I saved not long after my 30th birthday, which paid for my Round the World Trip, which ended up bringing me to Australia . . . . .

Part 3 will follow tomorrow . . . .

Sending you love, hugs and light,

Kat x x x

Embrace the light and the dark

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”

– Brené Brown –

I’ve not written my blog for over a month now, and up until yesterday I didn’t know why.

I’m currently doing the most fantastic training course with a beautiful healer and personal development trainer called Robert Kirby and we did a process yesterday which required us to look objectively at who we think we are (the dark/shadow) and who we really are (the light).

What I realised is that because I have had some slightly dark times recently, I haven’t wanted to share them with my blog, for fear of exposing myself to be anything less than light. Thinking that I would be being inauthentic.

How wrong, could I have been?

However, in doing so, I have denied the dark, and therefore, actually denied the real truth.

We, as human beings, having a spiritual experience are both. The light and the dark. The ups and the downs. The yin and the yang. The masculine and the feminine. And when we deny one of the other, it is impossible to live a life in balance.

By acknowledging that both are present in us, we allow ourselves to be strong and vulnerable.

The other amazing thing, is that the intuitive horoscope for me (Scorpio) yesterday from the very wonderful Ghazeleh Lowe confirmed this for me too:

Scorpio: The Scorpion

‘You are dedicated today dear Scorpio and you’ll come to see the most divine feeling within you that enables you to awaken and this awakening is one of the most rarest gifts that life can offer. I feel that as your day meets more of your moments you’ll realise that you don’t need your head for the decisions you are about to make in your life. All I can say is that you are about to fly so damn high it’ll be impossible to have you fall ever again.’

I’m starting to have some really incredible realisations and understandings while doing Robert’s work, but the one that has been very strong for me over this 4 day course is just to embrace the light and the dark in ourselves.

I have spent so many wasted hours beating myself up for feeling a certain way, trying to run away from my shadow, wanting to delete it, eradicate it completely. But the truth of the matter is, we are both. And once you embrace both, especially the dark, it no longer has power over you. The important thing is not to dwell though. If you have a dark moment or a dark thought, better still to observe it, knowledge it, know that it is there, then embrace it and allow it to move through you.

I came across this wonderful video by Mr John Legend that fits this post perfectly today. Thank you Universe for bringing it to me. 🙂

Sending you love, light and hugs,

Kat x x x

P.S.

My blog is back, I’ll be writing daily blog posts regularly from now on. Light and dark. The whole truth and nothing but the truth. 🙂