Time to really love yourself

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‘Rather than condemning yourself for your mistakes and failures, you can use the experience of suffering to soften your heart.’

– Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion –

Affirmation of the day – I LOVE AND ACCEPT MYSELF EXACTLY AS I AM.

So, the one and only gift that I decided to buy this year was a book, for myself, entitled, Self-Compassion. It was recommended to me, by a very beautiful friend, considering the slightly tricky time that I have been going through recently. So I decided to take his advice.

The opening quote in the book goes like this:

“This kind of compulsive concern with, ‘I, me, and mine’ isn’t the same as loving ourselves. Loving ourselves points us to capacities of resilience, compassion and understanding within that are simply part of being alive.” – Sharon Salzberg, The Force of Kindness

And I have a feeling that the theme of self-compassion is going to be something that will run through my blog posts over the next couple of weeks as I read the book, share my thoughts, feelings and learnings with you and really start to love myself, truly and deeply.

2013 has been an interesting one. I can’t complain, especially considering that at the beginning of the year I set the intention to improve my relationship with money and get a better handle on my finances.

Little did I know that the Universe had a pretty monumental way of teaching me the things that I needed to learn, coming in the form of me not earning anything from my business for the best part of 7 months, and me needing to allow my beautiful boyfriend to financially support me for the duration of that time.

However, I wouldn’t change a thing, as I feel as though I have learnt an incredible amount with regards to money and my relationship with it, and despite the fact that it will take me a little while to pay off my debt and get myself back on to an even keel, I’m much better off than where I started the year.

So, why the importance of self-compassion? I have definitely heard the voices in my head quite recently wanting to beat myself up for the fact that my business was a financial failure for the predominance of the year. And that same voice has been wanting to kick the sh1t out of me for having to be financially supported by my boyfriend, which has also left him in a less than ideal financial position. The voice that wants to blame me, that wishes I’d never had to ask for help. The voice that tells me that I’m weak and unsuccessful. The voice, that in actual fact, not really telling the truth.

Because the truth of the matter is, everything happens for a reason. And also, I asked for this. I wanted to improve my relationship with money, therefore I needed to be open to whichever way the lessons I needed to learn would show up. This is how the Universe works.

If I’m wanting to live a life of true abundance, I’m not going to be able to manifest things, money, people, businesses, customers, clients, opportunities etc. if I’m not open to receiving them, or if I don’t know what to do with them, once I have them.

So, now is not the time to beat myself up internally or berate myself. Now is the time to be kind and compassionate to myself. To be unconditionally loving and allow whatever feelings and emotions to come up that need to surface. To feel any pain, disappointment or sadness that I need to feel. But then not to be mean to myself because I’m feeling these things. Instead choose to comfort myself, just as I would a friend who would be going through the same thing. In short, to be the best friend that I could possibly be to myself.

In her book Self Compassion, Kristin Neff starts the book by clearly stating how we can be more compassionate to ourselves,

‘To stop judging and evaluating ourselves altogether. To stop trying to label ourselves as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and simply accept ourselves with an open heart. To treat ourselves with the same kindness, caring and compassion we would show a good friend, or even a stranger for that matter. Sadly, however, there’s almost no one whom we treat as badly as ourselves.’

And it is my mission and promise to myself to treat myself with the same level of love, kindness and compassion that I show to all of the beautiful people in my life. And I have a feeling that this will become the theme for 2014 for me. SELF COMPASSION and time to really start loving myself, truly, madly and deeply.

If you’d like to start this too, I can highly recommend writing a love letter to yourself. I did this yesterday, and it was definitely a very lovely experience. I also came across this beautiful video on finerminds.com this morning and it really inspired me and compliments the sentiment of my post today perfectly.

It’s rare that we sit down and write a letter to ourselves outlining all of the things that we love about ourselves, but I feel as though now is as good a time as any. There isn’t really anything to lose.

I’m really looking forward to seeing through the last remaining days of 2013, savouring every last one and preparing myself for an even bigger and better 2014. One filled with unconditional love for myself and others, and a life of effortless flow filled with abundance in all areas, business, relationships, love, health, finances, emotions and spirituality.

Sending you love and light,

Kat x x x

To learn more

Read 88 ways to love yourself from viendamaria.com

Buy Self Compassion – stop beating yourself up and leave insecurity behind by Kristin Neff

Download Self Compassion for your Kindle.

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Image gratitude – http://www.viendamaria.com/2012/12/88-ways-love-yourself/#sthash.UwpJMIJX.dpbs

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Everything will be OK (Part 3)

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‘Keep giving me hope for a better day
Keep giving me love to find a way
Through this heaviness I feel
I just need someone to say, everything’s okay’

– Lenka –

After Parts 1 and 2 to this series, welcome to Part 3.

. . . . So, even though I was always earning, generally, whatever I earned, I spent. So I had a break even approach. And this approach fell down for me this year, because I didn’t earn, and therefore I had nothing to spend. A perfect way (although it didn’t seem so at the time) to learn that I needed to find a better way of managing money.

And during these last 7 months I read a fantastic book that has changed my life. Secrets of the Millionnaire Mind – Think Rich to Get Rich by T.Harv Eker is a book about money with a  whole bunch of awesome spiritual messages and philosophies trojan horsed into it. And despite its title, it’s a book as much about how to get your mindset in the right place in order to become a millionnaire, as it is about changing what he refers to as you ‘Money Blueprint’, which he believes we are all born with. He helps you to become aware of limiting beliefs that you might have around money and he gives you specific and practical exercises that you can do to start to shift and change them.

However, the MOST helpful piece of advice that he gave in the book that has helped to completely and utterly change my relationship with money is this.

For every amount of money that comes into your bank account, whether it is $10, $100, $1000, $10,000, $100,000 or $1,000,000, split that amount in 6 different ways.

50% goes into a necessities pot – this is for all the essential things in your life like rent, bills, food etc.

10% goes into a fun pot – this is for doing (funnily enough) fun things in life, anything from going to a gig, out to dinner with a friend or rock climbing

10% goes into an education pot – this is for furthering your personal education and development. It could contribute to training courses you’d like to do or books you’d like to read.

10% goes into a long term savings pot – this is pretty straightforward.

10% goes into a financial freedom pot – this pot is for investing. Ultimately, the investments that you make with this money will mean that your money is working for you, rather than you working for your money. Some good sound investments here could significantly change things in your life for the better.

10% goes into a giving pot – the idea of tithing has been around for a long time, and put simply, it is the act of giving 10% of what you earn to a good cause.

I started doing this in July when I read the book. You can do it with as little as $10, but it has completely and utterly changed how I am interacting with and dealing with money. I even went to the extent of setting up separate savings accounts with my bank, so that I could separate my money into each of the pots.

To read the last instalment of this 4 part blog post series, tune in tomorrow.

Here’s a beautiful song called ‘Everything’s OK‘ to make you feel good today by the lovely Lenka.

Sending you love, hugs and light,

Kat x x x

Learn more

Read Everything will be OK – Part 1

Read Everything will be OK – Part 2

Buy the book Secrets of the Millionnaire Mind – T. Harv Eker

Download the book from Apple iBooks or for your Kindle.

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Everything will be OK (Part 2)

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‘Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know.’

– Anon –

Following on from Part 1 of this four part blog series, here is Part 2 for you.

. . . I literally had no money in my account for months and months and months. Any money that Darren helped me out with went straight out to pay for training courses I had already committed to, paid for my phone bill, or contributed to ferry tickets so I could go into the city and meet with prospective clients.

This was the most dire financial situation I had been in throughout my entire life. However, I know, for certain that it happened for a reason. In fact, it had to happen. Because I needed to learn the things that I needed to learn, by going through what I went through. And no matter how rubbish it felt throughout that 7 month period, I have come out of it the other side, an even better person than I was before. I also know that I wouldn’t have the perspective I have now looking back on it.

So, you may ask, what have I learnt? And this for me is the most important thing. Life sometimes throws us curveballs. Sometimes it gives us something to deal with that, in the moment, we feel as though we just aren’t equipped to handle. But, sometimes what we don’t realise is, that the Universe only ever gives us exactly what we need, in the exact moment that we need it. And it never gives us anything greater than that which we are equipped to deal with.

So, what have I learnt?

I’ve learnt to receive help from people who love me, much more easily and willingly – I know that before this year I would feel very guilty receiving help from people. I didn’t want to feel vulnerable or weak. I didn’t want to be a burden. I didn’t want to put people out. I didn’t want to admit that I needed help from someone. It was always much easier to just deal with things by myself. And so far this year, I have definitely allowed people to help me a lot more than I ever had.

It has been in these moments of allowing myself to be vulnerable, that I have allowed someone in, who loves me, to help me. And by doing so, I have softened my heart and started to remove some of the armour I had subconsciously built up around it. The armour that existed, because I didn’t want people to think that I was weak.

I’ve also learnt to have a better relationship with money – my relationship with money had never been perfect. Before I started my business, throughout my 20s, I had earned a lot of money working in the Corporate World in Branding and Marketing. In fact, since starting working for Virgin in 2003, I can’t really remember there ever being a time where I struggled for cash. I was always earning. There was always money in my bank account. I never had to worry about whether I could afford to do something or go somewhere, I just did. I had a Carpe Diem approach to life and a Carpe Diem approach to money. However, I never saved. I never had anything in reserve. It was only when I was with my ex-boyfriend that I saved, and that was only for one year. It was an important year though, because the $7000 that I saved while we were together, contributed to the other money that I saved not long after my 30th birthday, which paid for my Round the World Trip, which ended up bringing me to Australia . . . . .

Part 3 will follow tomorrow . . . .

Sending you love, hugs and light,

Kat x x x

Everything will be OK (Part 1)

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‘She stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails.’

– Elizabeth Edwards –

It’s 9am on a Sunday morning and I have just written a blog post that is nearly 2000 words long. Therefore, rather than doing what I would probably usually have done and post the entire thing, I’m going to separate it into 4 parts and drip feed it out to you over the next 4 days in bite sized chunks, so that you aren’t overwhelmed with a big ‘ol 2000 word blog post from me. Enjoy.

So, where are we, Sunday 24th November 2013? Wow, already I’m starting to get reflective about the year I’ve had and it’s not even December yet!

This year has definitely been an interesting one, and in particular the last 8 months since March.

In that time I managed to move into a beautiful 2 bedroom flat, 2 minutes from the beach in Manly, have my wonderful Dad come and visit me and take a trip to the Australian GP in Melbourne. Shortly after that, in April, my darling boyfriend moved in with me and this was also around the time that I stopped making money through my business.

The bank balance for my business then proceeded to become dryer and more arid than the Atacama Desert. For months I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t making money? Was my pricing wrong? Was it because I didn’t have a website? Was it because I had repositioned my company as a Conscious Branding company? Was it because no one wanted to work with me? The list of questions go on and on . . . .

During this time, I had to allow Darren to reach out and support me financially, and this is a position I had never been in, in my life. I had never had to allow someone else to do this. I had never had to allow myself to be so vulnerable. . . . .

And he supported me for 7 months.

This was a testing time for me. To begin with, I felt guilty allowing him to help and support me. After a while, I was OK with it. Then I got scared that because I had allowed him to help me, I would never be able to earn money again, and that I would be forever financially dependent on him. And during that time, I didn’t matter how hard I tried, or what I did, I couldn’t make money. I even started applying for other contract roles and even permanent jobs, considering completely and utterly giving up on the company I had set up to do what I love, thinking that perhaps it wasn’t meant to be . . . .

Part 2 will follow tomorrow . . .

Sending you love, hugs and light,

Kat x x x

Image gratitude – http://www.picstopin.com/480/everything-will-be-okay-in-the-end-if-its-not-then-/http:%7C%7Cimg*youtube*com%7Cvi%7C8ltX3Cm4nZw%7C0*jpg/

The 10 Rituals of Radiant Living

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‘Act as if failure is impossible and your success will be assured. Wipe out every thought of not achieving your objectives, whether they are material or spiritual. Be brave, and set no limits on the workings of your imagination. Never be a prisoner of your past. Become the architect of your future.’

Robin S. Sharma – The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari

I’ve just read a fantastic book called ‘The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari‘ by a guy called Robin S. Sharma.

While I have been on my voyage of spiritual discovery this year I have read a tonne of books in this space. Everything from Louise Hay’s ‘You Can Heal Your Life’, to Eckhart Tolle’s ‘The Power of Now’ and ‘A New Earth.’

I’ve always loved books, I learned to read at the age of 2, was reading about 8 books a week by the time I was about 10 and still have the appetite and love for reading now. However, it’s a different type of book that I read these days. And the stuff in the metaphysical, esoteric and quantum space really interest me. I can’t get enough!

So, I wanted to share with you the 10 Rituals of Radiant Living that Sharma talks about in his book. I think they are great and they concur with how I try to live my life in general.

So, here they are . . .

10 Rituals of Radiant Living

1. Ritual of Solitude

Spend time by yourself every day. Try to practice this at the same time every day. Meditate or commune with nature (walk, water plants etc.). Aim to spend between 15-50 minutes doing this every day.

2. Ritual of Physicality

Invest at least 5 hours a week in physical activity. For me, this would tend to be yoga 3 times a week and a 2 hour bush walk or trek every weekend. Enjoy breathing in the fresh air.

3. Ritual of Live Nourishment
Eat a live diet of fresh fruit & vegetables & grains. Aim to eat live foods created through natural interaction of sun, air, soil & water. According to Sharma, meat is dead food. Red meat is hard to digest & since your digestive system is one of the most energy-consuming processes of your entire body, valuable energy reserves are needlessly depleted by this foodstuff.

4. Ritual of Abundant Knowledge

Read for at least 30 mins a day. A book is the best friend if the wise. This is a very easy one for me. According to Sharma, every answer to every problem you have ever faced is in print. Lifelong learning & expanding your knowledge base for the good of yourself & all those around you. Applied Knowledge is Power. Become a student of life. Don’t be bound by your schedule. Focus on things that your conscience and heart tell you to do

5. Ritual of Personal Reflection
Enjoy inner contemplation. Stop making excuses and just do it! Spend time each day to reflect on the things that you’re grateful for, the things you have achieved in the day and the things you would like to achieve tomorrow.

6. The Ritual of Early Awakening

Get up with the sun. The average person can get by on 6 hours sleep. Quality of sleep is more important than quantity. Never eat after 8pm. If you struggle with falling asleep, meditate before you go to bed and be conscious of what you are putting in your mind at the end of the day. And if you meditate at the beginning of the day, meditate on the thought of ‘what would I do if today was my last?’

7. The Ritual of Music

Listen to music every day if you can. It will energise you and lift your spirits.

8. The Ritual of the Spoken Word

It’s good to have mantra’s and affirmations that you say to yourself regularly. A mantra is a collection of words strung together to create a positive effect. A phrase designed to free the mind. In Sanskrit ‘man’ means mind and ‘tra’ means freeing. Your self-image is a self-fulfilling prophecy and what we think we become. So when you change your inner world, you change your external world.

Here are some mantra’s or affirmations that you can use throughout your day:

– I am inspired, disciplined & energised
– I am strong, able & calm
– I am healthy, wealthy & wise

9. The Ritual of Congruent Character

You sow a thought, you reap an action. Reap an action, you sow a habit. Sow a habit, you reap a character. Sow a character, you reap your destiny.

10. Ritual of Simplicity

Less is more. Simplify your life as much as you can. Only surround yourself with the possessions that you absolutely need and love. Only fill your wardrobe with the clothes that you actually wear. Only buy the food that you’re going to eat.

Ever since I left the UK to go travelling I have spent the last 2 and a half years simplifying my life and I have never felt better. Less is definitely more!

If you want to read more about these and be inspired, I can definitely recommend picking up a copy of the book.

Sending you love, hugs and light,

Kat x x

To learn more

Buy a copy of The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari

or download it from Apple iBooks or for your Kindle

9780062515674

Image gratitude – http://www.slideshare.net/Ani77789/ten-rituals-of-radiant-living

You’re an eagle not a chicken

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‘To live and let live is to live and live free.’

– Eldon Taylor –

I’ve just finished reading a fantastic new book by a lovely guy called Eldon Taylor called Choices and Illusions and it is a fantastic explanation of how we have unwittingly taken on beliefs that are not ours and that have been fed to us through the media, advertising and other channels (the illusions) and explains that we do indeed have the ability to make conscious decisions about how we would like our lives to be (the choices).

And there is a great story in his book, which demonstrates that despite the fact that we are all born with the ability of an eagle, we are raised with the limitations of thinking that we are chickens.

I found a YouTube video of Eldon telling the story too if you would like to watch it.

 

I started to have the realisation that I was indeed an eagle, rather than a chicken when I did a weekend seminar in Sydney last year called Live It Now. It started to shine a light on a whole set of limiting beliefs that I didn’t even realise I had been carrying around with me. And I started to realise that a lot of the things I thought about myself, others and the world weren’t in fact my own thoughts, but programming that I had subconsciously picked up throughout my life. Nothing that I had done wrong, but that I had been in a hypnotic trance for the majority of my life, believing that I wasn’t good enough, clever enough, knew enough, the list goes on . . . .

It was during this weekend that I began to connect more with my true self. The self that is a limitless being. A spirit having a human experience. The all-seeing and all-knowing. Someone who has peace and love in their hearts and who only wants to good in this world. And in order to really be that true authentic self I needed to start to become aware of the illusions, let them go and start making my own choices.

At the time I was working for Rupert Murdoch’s News Limited Group and within 3 months of taking the course I left the company to start my own. I no longer watch or read the news, nor do I pay attention to mainstream advertising or marketing.

I decided that I wanted to take everything that I had come to know about marketing and branding and use it for the Greater Good, helping people who have a product or service that is going to benefit humankind or the planet tell their story and attract people who think and feel the same way they do.

I am also writing a book that compliments what I do and shines a light on conscious brands all over the world who exist to make a positive difference.

I have had to smash through illusion after illusion, limiting belief after limiting belief, including those around whether someone would even want to read a blog I have written or a book I have put together.

Now, I can’t even imagine not having started my blog or my book, because I have had such positive feedback and love from the Universe.

Eldon’s book serves to bring our awareness to the illusions that are present in our lives and have us realise that we are indeed not a chicken, but an eagle. And once we have realised we are an eagle, his book then serves to educate and inspire us as to how we can settle into that which we have always been and make conscious choices so we can live the life that has always been available to us, we just didn’t know it. He encourages us to ‘live into ourselves‘ which is something I strive to do in every moment of every day.

A quote from Eldon’s book –

‘You are not here merely to make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement.

You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget this errand.’

– Woodrow Wilson – 

So my thought for the day is this. How much of your life are you spending as a chicken or an eagle? How much time do you spend listening to other chickens vs finding other eagles to soar with? How aware are you of the choices available to you in your life vs the illusions and limitations that have been programmed into your mind by others?

I realised that I was an eagle about 18 months ago and I have been spending every day since learning to fly with other eagles and letting the chicken lie go. You’re an eagle not a chicken, all you need to do is choose which life you’d like to live. 

Learn more

Visit Eldon’s website – http://www.eldontaylor.com/

Buy Choices and Illusions

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Eldon Taylor is a New York Times best-selling author and is considered to be an expert in the field of subconscious learning. He has made a lifelong study of the human mind and has earned doctoral degrees in psychology and metaphysics. He is a Fellow with the American Psychotherapy Association (APA) and a nondenominational minister. Eldon has served as an expert witness in court cases involving hypnosis and subliminal communication.

Eldon was a practicing criminalist for over ten years specializing in lie detection and forensic hypnosis. Today he is president and director of Progressive Awareness Research, Inc. Since 1984 his books, audio programs, lectures, radio and television appearances have approached personal empowerment from the cornerstone perspective of forgiveness, gratitude, self-responsibility and service.

Do what you love (Part 2)

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‘Find something you are passionate about and keep tremendously interested in it.’

– Julia Child –

A few months ago I wrote a blog post entitled ‘Do what you love (Part 1). Today I feel inspired to write a follow up to it, because intuitively, that is the feeling I had for the subject of my blog post when I woke up this morning.

As I mentioned yesterday, I haven’t written blog posts for the last couple of weeks. I’m not entirely sure why and can’t explain this, but yesterday was the first time in a little while that I felt to write.

I must say, the Universe responded in the most beautiful and perfect way, to reinforce how important it is for me to be writing and sharing. My post had 30 likes, 7 comments, I picked up quite a few new followers and I had the best stat day I have had in the last month or so.

And furthermore, I wrote the post, without any expectation or agenda. I just wrote it from my heart, put it out into the Universe openly and honestly, and most importantly, I enjoyed the process. I enjoyed writing the post, and I enjoyed sharing my thoughts and feelings.

It just reminded me of how important it is to a) follow the feeling and your intuition (the feeling that I had to write yesterday) b) be present in the moment without expectation or agenda and c) do what I love. I love to write, I love to share and I love to help.

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Secondly I ran a workshop last night at our local Meet Up Group ‘Manly Entrepreneurs‘ on Conscious Branding. I was so humbled to be talking to a room of 40+ people about branding and we worked collaboratively to define the values of the ‘Manly Entrepreneurs‘ brand.

Initially I was a little nervous about speaking to a group of people about what I do as it is the first time I have done this since starting my company a year or so ago, but I’m so glad I did. Everyone appreciated the talk, enjoyed the content that I shared and most importantly they loved contributing to creating the brand together.

Holding this event made me feel alive, connected, happy, joyful and present. I was so happy to share my knowledge and apply it to something that I like so much.

So, the thought for the day is this. Are you filling your life with things that you love, and if not, how can you start to? In Part 1, I talk about a ‘Do what you love’ that I have on my fridge which is a constant reminder for me to fill my life with things that I love and that make me happy. Why not write one and stick it on your fridge?

Sending you lots of love, hugs and light,

Kat x x x

Read more on this subject

Do what you love (Part 1)

Fill your life with things you love